Do we ever stop and think before we speak? Recently, words were admittingly said with the intention of being hurtful to me. Similar words were said a couple of months ago, and as much as the sting hurt at that moment, I also chose to dismiss those words just as quickly as they were said. Why, you may ask? Because I can choose to accept those words or ignore them. I chose to ignore them. Therefore, the damage intended is mute. They have no value anymore. Then, there was this latest barrage of unkind and spiteful language used solely with the purpose of expressing anger. As much in shock I was for hearing those words, I rebuffed them by replying, “It doesn’t matter what you say. Those words cannot hurt me.” In my sharing this event with my trusted friend, I received a different set of words in return. Words that were texted with love, compassion, and even anger at the person who said it in the first place. Those words came with added confirmation that I am different and would never intentionally hurt someone with words said because of jealousy, guilt, or a sense of loss. That is not me and I was reminded of that yesterday. Thank you. That will never be me. On a bigger scale, I started trying to understand how words we all use can invoke certain emotions because of the intended reason for which those words were spoken. For example, we all know what the words look like when people are making excuses for not doing something or not taking responsibility — “So-and-so was supposed to complete that project.” or “It’s too much work.” Hopefully, we have given more apologies than we have had to accept in our lives, using words like, “I am so sorry that I forgot your birthday.” or “Please forgive me for missing our lunch date.” Then, there are the words that are meant to hurt — “Why would I want to be your friend?” or “Can you believe what she is wearing today?” Finally, there are the words that provide comfort and demonstrate love for one another – “I hope you get better soon.” and “I love you.” Being as my parents are retired (or semi-retired) teachers, words were always very important while I was growing up. But the words themselves are meaningless unless we know how to use them and the meanings behind the words. I can write and speak using the words I know in ways that will not be hurtful, but hopefully will bring joy and love to those special people in my life. Choose your words wisely. Don’t say things in the heat of the moment that you might regret later. You can be honest without being resentful and cruel. Use words that fill people with love and adoration. People don’t take the time to wish someone, “Have a great day!” because they think it doesn’t matter. You just never know when words you say, write, text, tweet, Facebook (etc) will be just what the recipient needs to believe that you are thinking of them. And those special words that YOU chose were meant
Michelle Homme 2012 ©
just for them.