Have you even been in a situation when you wanted to apologize and didn’t know how? But you were compelled to do something other than ignore what you have in front of you because doing nothing changes nothing? When we are unsure of how we will be received once we get to that point when there is no going back? When saying nothing makes the silence even louder in a crowded room and when you wait for the other person to go “first”? We all have. In one way shape or another, we have. What do you do in those situations? Many times, I have walked away and let things play out and many times I have not liked the results. But I did nothing to change them so I became more upset with myself. Do you wait for other people to come to you first? Why? Is it because pride gets in the way and stops us cold? So cold that it hinders us from taking a chance and doing everything we can to change what we have? If you were truly honest with yourself, could you truly say you had done EVERYTHING? Chances are there is still something to be done. Anything. But we are reactive instead of proactive in trying to solve what problems we have before us. We let our attitude dictate feelings and emotions that lead us into falsehoods that we know deep down do not exist. But from time to time, we let them surface and show their ugliness and we have to work hard and not letting foolishness get in the way of what our heart tells us. I take great pride in who I am, what I do, and who I surround myself with to make my life better. I make no excuses for the decisions and choices I have made along the way to get me to this very point. Although, it would not have been the life I would have wished, it was a life that I was meant to live. Today, I was reminded of my pride and although it did not stop me cold, it did slow me down a bit. It made me very aware of what else needs to be done and how my role has changed. I thought that my presence in someone’s past would prevent me from being involved in their present and future. Really what it means is that my pride had gotten in the way and I needed to let go of it. So, I am doing all I can to put my pride away and step aside and I will continue to takes steps to be proactive. Say what you need to say…do what you need to do…it does matter…maybe not today and maybe in ways you never see it, but it can mean EVERYTHING.
Michelle Homme 2012 ©