I have thought about TRUE, unconditional love is about this week and thought it would be a good time to give us all something to think about. First, let’s start with the basics. What is unconditional love? According to the dictionary, unconditional love is defined as “affection with no limits or conditions; complete love”. There is no other love that is more powerful or more selfless than unconditional love. Of course, we all love when love is returned to us, but what if it’s not? What if you never see the result of that love? Maybe it is never acknowledged or appreciated in the way that it should be? How many of us have given more to someone else without expecting anything in return? How many of us thought that the people we gave to would want to give to us in some way? I would bet that hands went up both times, but maybe a few more on the second question. Why? Because we like to know that what we do or say matters. It affirms that decision we made connected with another person, just as we hoped it would. A simple thank you, a funny note, a quick call. Sometimes, we would take just about anything to hear someone else’s voice. We have all had moments that we wish we could change something that we did because we never received anything in return, but let me ask you a really hard question. If you answer this honestly about who you are and the love you have, it will be a very easy question to answer.
“If you KNEW that your giving to someone else would NEVER be acknowledged, would you have still chosen to give anyway?”
If your answer is “no”, then you did not love unconditionally. You had reasons for giving, along with anticipated expectations, and recognition to make yourself feel better about the act of giving. We have all felt this way, and it can truly expose feelings of selfishness. It is not wrong to feel this way…it just defines the kind of love we gave away.
But if your answer is “yes”, then you loved unconditionally. You gave your heart away, never expecting it back or wanting someone to “thank” you. No matter what is left unsaid or never done, you truly gave a piece of you that may never return and because of that you know how much you love that person. This is the most difficult kind of love to give away because it shows people how big your heart is, despite the pain.
After the fact, I know I have had to ask myself the above question as well. If I knew that the outcome would be different, would I not have taken the time and effort to try to make it matter to someone else? My first reaction was to say, “I wish I had that time back! I did all the work and effort and what did it get me?” Then, I stop and remember why I gave it in the first place — because I wanted to love that person.
I urge you to place no limits or conditions on the love you give away. If the love you give never comes back,it is ok. Love is meant to be given away, anyway. And unconditional love is complete love. Love completely!
Michelle Homme 2013 ©