I know that seems like a given, but I am not sure I could’ve said it a few years ago and really meant it. Sure, there are things that don’t go my way or I wish were different, but I love where I am and where I see myself going. I have NEVER been so confident about things that are happening and just are than I am right now. NEVER. Maybe it was because I just showed up when life showed up, and that is all I thought it ever took. Truth is, you get what you put into it. I didn’t put very much into it before and I saw the results. It frustrates me now as I look back on it and I could carry a ton of regrets. But that gets me no where and keeps me there. I was never sure of what “I brought to the table” so I wasn’t going to be sharing that with too many people. Ok…maybe no one. I had a lot of walls up. Did I say a lot? Ok, just checking. Even my family has never seen me like this until now. I kept it hidden from the people that mean the most to me, until some time in January 2010 when something happened. I began to WANT to live my life and share it with everyone. And not just want to live my life but decide how I lived it. Then, something completely unexpected changed my life forever. Someone new came into my life and I had to trust her – like I had NEVER trusted anyone before. Boy, was I afraid. Lots of times. And she knew it. Slowly, I put the walls down and, little by little, shared with her who I am. The simple, unconditional gesture of her givng me her heart encouraged me to entrust her with mine. I have more people that truly care about me because I have allowed them to care than I ever did before. It has not always been easy, because I never thought anyone did. I never did that before. My life is crazy at times with work, family, schedules, bills to pay, friends, and this as well. But I have never been more grounded than I am right now. There are days when I want to throw in the towel because I think it is too much. But nothing makes me more focused than when I have lots to do and not any more than the 24 hours that we have to do it in. I guess I had better find time to sleep in there, too. Let me ask you something…do you LOVE your life? What do what to change in it? Maybe everything is going really GROOVY right now, and you’re not sure how it can be any better. Guess what? It can ALWAYS be better!! I wish there was a “shaking head in disbelief” way to tell you that I couldn’t pick to be here, but I have to be here. This is part of my journey. And I have to say, I LOVE it. It is not perfect. It brings much more joy than I ever could’ve imagined and continues to amaze me. Every day is not the same as the previous one and yet I have learned to treasure each one as they go by way so fast. If you are one of those that said you don’t love your life, what are you doing to do to change it? You too can love your life but you have to have the right attitude and then put forth the effort. It will not just happen. It is a choice you make. So…what are you going to do? Live your life and love it or sit on the porch and watch it go by? “You will never change your life until you change your choices.” I have made my decision. Now is the time for you…CHOOSE!!
Michelle Homme 2011 ©