You know what get’s old? Hearing people tell me that they miss something and never doing anything about it. You know what I am talking about, don’t you? The empty promises you tell yourself or others about something you say you want, but are unwilling to do anything about.
Imagine being on a merry-go-round…we have all been on one before and we understand the purpose of the ride. To go around in circles. To go nowhere. As we climb aboard our favorite animal (I always picked the more exotic animals, like the cheetah), and strap ourselves in, we anticipate seeing our parents wave to us from the other side of the barricade. The giddiness and excitement comes through in the squeals of laughter and is apparent on the smiles on every rider.
Sounds awesome, doesn’t it?
Sure…for a while. But what happens if you want to get off? You can’t…the merry-go-ride operator will not slow the ride or even bring it to a complete stop to make it easier for you. So, now what do you do?
I have done it too. Making excuses for what I should have done was temporary and only later would I realize just how harmful those excuses were. And then I became angry at myself because I didn’t hold myself accountable better. Some of us need someone “jaw-jacking” in our ears and heads to get us where we really want to be. But what happens if no one is around to get you going?
How do you replace something you want with something you don’t have?
Teachers that miss teaching after they retire…
Players that miss the sport they will always love…
People are so quick to give up. They walk away. The believe NOTHING can be done. They throw their hands up in disgust instead of focusing on the problem.
Because THAT solves everything.
(enter “sarcasm” here.)
This morning, I had breakfast with one of my dearest friends and as little as we see other, we both admitted that we miss simple times where we can share a meal and our lives with one another. Life is busy for all of us and we have become its servant. We convince ourselves that there is nothing to be done to change it. That we are forever held hostage by the binds of burdens and responsibilities life imposes, some of which were choices of our own. Yet, things get out of control before we know it and then we are spinning in circles, barely keeping our balance, as we try to focus our eyesight on the horizon.
And before we know it, time has once again beaten us. We lower our head and pretend it doesn’t matter. And then when we are at that breaking point — when it comes to the surface — we drop to our knees and wonder how we got here. Where it all went. Wondering what we missed.
So, that’s the end of it.
Let’s just throw in the towel and call it.
(enter more sarcasm here.)
And so many people do exactly this. They cave. They don’t know where to start so they never start. ANYWHERE. And then we hear about how frustrating they are. And when we ask, “What have you done to change this?” and their answer is, “nothing…” Guess what? They got what they paid for, didn’t they?
Problem solving involves only two things.
1. Identify what you want changed.
What is it that YOU miss most? Are you missing spending time with your family and friends? Are you missing reading and having some “me” time? Are you missing making more money? Are you missing running?
2. Identify how you can change it.
What can you do to spend more time with friends and family? To have more “me” time? To make more money? To run?
See? It isn’t complicated at all. But it does come down to choices. And what matters most to you. Because if it matters, you do something about it. Period. Not when you are forced to, but when you choose to. And sometimes, we need to get “pushed” into those choices. Why? Because that is when we know how much it matters. There is no middle ground here. It is one or the other.
We ALL have the ability to change. But the difference is making those changes. Committing to them and not allowing excuses to come between where you are and where you want to be. No one can do it for you. No one. You have to do it for yourself, for your own reasons.
And when you are never missing anything that you can impact, then you are doing it right because you are in the moment. And not far enough from it to miss it.
So what’s missing from your life? What are you going to do about it? Are you going to have another temper tantrum and pout about what you don’t have or are you going to get your butt in the ring and fight for what you want? It is YOUR life. And no one is going to miss it more than you.
Michelle A. Homme 2015 ©