Why does it take a eulogy?

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For a long time, I kept silent. But I don’t ever remembering a moment when I wanted to say something and didn’t.  For whatever reason.  I guess I just didn’t think too much about how significant (or insignificant) my words would impact a situation.  I mean…no one else but me would know that I had something on my mind that could have or should have been shared at that exact moment.  And then before I really even began to grasp what just happened, that moment was gone.  Forever.   I dismissed it as not relevant and that it didn’t matter.  Has this ever happened to you?  When you wanted to say something and didn’t?  Maybe you were afraid to do it wrong (I feel that way about shopping) or that your words would come out all jumbled and would make sense and you didn’t want to sound silly?  Maybe you didn’t talk about important stuff while you were growing up, so you were not taught how to tell people how you feel (again, how I feel about shopping)?  Well, I am here to tell you that it should not take a eulogy to say what needs to be said.  People say things to people all the time — but those words are empty if there is no meaning behind them.  Time passes and before you know it, you are attending a funeral for someone you love and where do your thoughts linger?  You and I both know it that you will regret the words not said…the actions not taken.  No one ever says on their death-bed, “I said too much!” or “I never should have told him how I felt about him.”  It just doesn’t happen.  Instead, we hide behind the mask of everyday, busy life, praying that we don’t have to say what we have always wanted to say.  Ever listened to someone give a eulogy?  Do you ever hear about how much money the person had in his ban account when he died?  Do we remember her for the kind of car she drove or how big her house was?  Maybe it matters more because she had extra letters after her name…right?  None of these matter.  People spend too much time focusing on what people don’t remember anyway.  But why does it take a tragedy before people truly treasure the loss of someone but never appreciated them while they were still here?  It is in their absence that our taking people for granted becomes something that we hold most dear.  Why does it take those moments that jolt us into a state of alertness that it finally gets our attention?  The truth is…it shouldn’t.  If you wait, it is going to be too late.  And then long after the eulogy has been written and read…long after the shock of missing of the many opportunities come and gone…long after you think you can ignore those words that still linger because they still remain where you last left them…you will be filled with one thing…REGRET.  So, I may say more than I should and express my feelings more, but I believe in “NO REGRETS.” Because we never know and I never want to be sitting in a church or funeral home, listening to a eulogy about someone I love and will miss dearly and be bombarded with the words I never said.  The words that never left my tongue and gave a piece of my heart when shared.  The words that not only mean something to the person that are hearing them, but the words that also mean something to the person who created them.  I am silent no more.   Promise me something…don’t miss a chance to say what you have always wanted to “Say” by John Mayer.

Michelle A. Homme 2014 ©

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