KS is a good friend and she suggested that I needed to post something about relationships. We all have them…different kinds, but they exist in every one of our lives. There are co-workers that we absolutely cannot stand, but make the polite chit-chat to get through another day. We have teammates that are so selfish they wouldn’t see anyone else if they tried. Family members are always going to be related to you, but may not treat you like blood. Those are some of the bad types of relationships that we still have to keep, as much as we want them to go away. But my favorite kinds of relationships are when they are mutually as exciting for one as they are for the other. When we CHOOSE to be around those people who make us laugh (that is why some people keep me around, or so I have been told), they are there to listen when we have a bad day, they love us. I have mentioned some of the Relationship Rules that Rocky wrote, but have never given you the list. Where here it is, in no particular order of importance…this is the way they were written and given to me.
- Each person needs to be honest. They need to know when they need to stay in a relationship and trusting that the other person will love them, no matter what
- Hold your tongue instead of saying something you might regret later. Look at it from the other person’s point of view.
- Forgive and forget. If you still remember, then you are still holding on.
- Never embarrass the other person in public. We all get into funny moods sometimes, but make sure it will be taken the way you intend it.
- Think before you talk.
- Be willing to sacrifice willingly for the other person. Allow others to do things for you. (I have trouble with this one sometimes.)
- Praise the other person with kind words. Even when they are not around to hear it, but especially then!
- Be yourself, not who someone else wants you to be.
- Trust yourself to know when things are not working. Let your heart guide you.
- Don’t be afraid to have fun and be silly. Living happy is a choice.
- Relationships are complicated, but keep those that make you happy. If you are happy, then your relationships will be as well. Ask yourself the question…
- Girls, don’t play dumb. Boys, don’t act macho. Don’t be afraid to show your intelligence and your feelings…
- Relationships take work. Expect that some days are easy and others won’t be.
- Love and sex are not the same thing.
- Sometimes, there are conflicts. It just means you are different.
- Do not keep score. Sometimes you give more; other times, you give less.
- We all have baggage and it makes us who we are, but never use it against someone else.
- Old relationships are in the past.
- When you are in a relationship with someone you love, you need to also have a friendship.
- Compromise with a smile. Don’t do things out of guilt. Because I love you and you love it, I love it.
- No one can make someone else love them. It can only be given and received, not forced. It has to breathe.
- No regrets. Tell those you love that you love them. Because you never know.
I also would add that you cannot prejudge. People that know now that I held onto past experiences and used that to guide me for all future relationships. If you get hurt a few times, you just learn to expect it from that point forward. But if you truly want to live and give freely of yourself to others, then you have to take that chance and learn to trust that these people are not those people. It is difficult to do and painful as you second guess and doubt, waiting for the shoe to drop. But you spend time waiting for something that may never come. I know I did. Not any more.
We all have relationships in our lives from neighbors to our kids’ teachers to the guys we golf with in Tuesday night league. What kind of relationship do you want to have with the people in your life? Use these rules as your guide to dismiss those relationships that are toxic to you and make the most of those relationships that make your world a better place.
Michelle Homme 2012 ©
