For once in my life

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I am who I have always been.  I have truly found inner peace knowing that I work hard every day being the best of me.  EVERY…SINGLE…DAY.  Do I have to?  No, I choose to.  By mere coincidence (or divine plan), an old friend came to my front door a couple of months ago as she went around the neighborhood handing out invitations to her church.  As I watched her approach, I took a double take about who it looked like that was walking up the driveway but could not compute about why she was there.  But after I gave her a big hug (yeah…I do that!) and we took a few minutes to visit, I shared with her more of where I am now.  I have not really spoken to her in a few years and we have grown apart, for whatever reason.  (The reason is irrelevant.) But after I shared with her where I am now and what I have accomplished, I think I stunned her and just as I had spent a few minutes processing her coming to my door, she was maybe doing some of the same as I quickly got her caught up on my book and then I took it a step further.  You see, this friend was the one that asked the questions at lunch that day on January 4, 2010 when my life forever changed.   Why do I share this story with you?  Because I know who I am…who I have always been.  I have chosen to be kind, forgiving, happy, caring, and loving despite other people treating me poorly.  But I had hidden who I have always been (never really knowing who I was), afraid to show the world just exactly what it was getting when it was getting me.  Who are you?  What words would you use to describe yourself?  More importantly, how would others describe you?  I know people who act one way around others and then a different way around another group of people.  Some people keep walls up because they don’t trust people.  Others trust too much.  Maybe you can joke with co-workers in a different way than you can with your boss.  When the day is done, it all comes down to who you are and who you want to be.  I will tell you that I have never enjoyed such freedom before.  A co-worker pointed out a picture of me that was taken with my sisters about 3 years ago, that sits across from my desk at work and she told me that I look different now than I did then.  I told her, “Hell, yeah…I look younger there!”  She replied, “No, that’s not what I meant.”  She went on to tell me that I had a look of uncertainty and lack of direction was in the picture that she no longer sees in me.  Now, she sees confidence, my MOXIE, and enthusiasm for whatever life throws at me.  It was a great compliment. I know I am where I am where I am supposed to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing.  In the beginning, there were a lot questions that no longer seem to exist.  Ok, maybe the biggest question that was answered was, “Are you sure?”  It is not in my nature to be cruel, wish ill will, or to hold grudges, but I bet we all know people like that.  Those are their issues, not mine.  Are you who you said you would be?  If your heart does not match what you show people, aren’t you essentially lying to them?  Why are we so afraid to show people who we are?  Isn’t that what they expect?  Us to be “us”?  Be kind if your heart is kind.  Be giving if your heart tells you to give.  Show love to those that need it most.  But never forget that “It’s Who You Are” by AJ Michalka from the movie, Secretariat

Michelle A. Homme 2013 ©

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