It just is

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I ask a lot of questions. A lot. I think even more. Yes, I have been known to over think. There have been times when I have questioned this whole thing…what it was…why it was here…how am I supposed to do anything with it…and so on. I have questioned my worthiness and whether or not I deserved a different life, with everything that it brought my way. Wondering why Rocky showed up and was ever present, to a point when she would not go away, and partly hoping that she would leave because that was easy. When someone suggested that I start a women’s group to give us all permission to seek more than what we see. Thinking I can inspire others to make changes in their attitudes and their thought processes was something I doubted that I could do. After all of the doubt…after the questions subside…when we finally accept, things just are. They exist and will never waver again. There is no other way to explain it, but to allow them to be here. It just is. When relationships begin and develop into something you never thought possible and show you something you have never had before to be true. Without question. I found it funny yesterday when I walked into Rock’s store and someone made a comment about “the family is all here”. She and I call each other’s moms “Mama Tess and Mama Ro”, and her family has become mine and vice versa. She told me once why she wanted to know my family, and I will never forget that reason. Now, everything in my life has a reason and even though I still question and think (yes, and talk) a good portion of the day, there are some things I don’t think about or question. They have become a part of me to a point where I cannot imagine my life without them. As they have grown on me, they have captured my heart and will forever be with me, with all they bring to the table, and how they all absolutely make my life better. My life is full. It just is and the people in it just are.

Michelle Homme 2011 ©

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