Two friends were hanging out this weekend and one asked the other, “Are you happy?” The second friend replied, “I don’t know. Maybe when things settle down.” Even when we are right in the thick of it and we are not even sure which end is up, are we happy? Do we choose happy despite the chaos? I think there are moments of both. Moments of happiness and pure joy and other moments when we are doing everything we can to not pull our hair out and scream. Sure, there are times when a little escape sounds like just the ticket, but that is not usually our real life. Eventually, we need to venture back to what is normal for us and continue on. Chaos reminds us of what is important…what choices we took and what results came from those choices. For some reason, we seem to think that we are the only one that has chaos when deep down we know that that cannot be true. Just maybe different kinds of chaos. Here is the thing…I am happy when I get to run/walk in the morning. It is one of my most favorite things and gives me time to think. It actaully makes me day better somehow, even if I am alone for those dark, five miles. But today, I was happier. Today, Rock came. We have not seen too much of each other lately but today I think we both realized that we miss “this”. Chaos will always be there and sometimes will show up when we are not ready for it, so it hits you like a PUMA. But we deal with it and get through it and eventually things right themselves again. But, I think the question we really need to ask ourselves is, “Despite the chaos, would you rather be somewhere else?” If the answer is “no”, then I think you are happy.
Michelle Homme 2011 ©