Give and take

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Rule #16.

“There’s no keeping count, no IOUs. Relationships aren’t always 50/50. Some days I have to give 100 and some days I can only do 30.”

This is part of a list of 22 rules that were given to me some time ago and this one struck me today when I was on the elliptical this morning. I have to give more, but it is still hard. But if I give, you need to take.  And, when you give, I need to take.  It is  about keeping score and making sure that everything is even or fair.  We know life isn’t fair.  This is the ebb and flow of life.  I know I am a much better giver than taker.  It is easier for me to surprise someone with a little card or hot chocolate than to accept the same, but I am getting better.  Here is the secret…I have noticed (and loved) that the more I give not just of my time, but the more I give ME to those around me, that I am a much better person.  Even when I think I cannot do anything else, sometimes that is all I have to give…me.  It doesn’t cost anything to give that, does it?  And it doesn’t take any effort to take the “me’s” that are given to you.  Because we give so much to others, we also have to remember to take time for ourselves and stop giving all of our spirit away to everyone else.  I forget that and then feel guilty when I do.  I am getting better at that too.  So, when you come across a relationship that you wonder why you seem to be on one side more than the other, just remember that there may come a time when you can’t do what you want to do.  Then it will even out, even though we are still really not keep count.

Michelle Homme 2011 ©

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