Last night ended a chapter for our oldest son as he walked off the field for the last time as a baseball pitcher for his college team. As I stood there waiting for him, I saw his teammates hugging each other, each knowing that it was over. Some of them still had another season to look forward to , but not our son. The magnitude of that moment had not hit me until he walked towards me with his arms outstretched, tears in his eyes, as he said, “It had to come to an end sometime.” That is when I lost it. To be honest, I am not sure that he was prepared for what this moment would bring for him either. For most of my life, I was a walking wall, hiding emotion and the vulnerability that came with it until about 3 years ago. Now, I can be a pile of goo in a matter of seconds just because. For no reason. I am trying to hold back the tears as I type this…(I am not doing very good at it, in case you were wondering). But as this chapter of his life (and ours too) comes to an end, we also look forward to the next chapter in his life. Next week, he graduates and will soon begin his career. I was not ready for the amount of emotion that came to the surface in the form of pride and tears, especially since I was so good at hiding it before. We all have chapters that end are sad when they do because we don’t want the good times to be gone, but instead we are left with great memories that allow us to occasionally go back to the good times. I have had people come into and out of my life. But things change. People grow and move on. Life continues to live. Can you be sad and happy at the same time? Has this happened to you? When excitement for the next chapter engulfs you but a flicker of the earlier chapters come into view at the same moment? I think that happens to all of us at one time or another. Maybe it hasn’t happened to you, but for many of my friends and family that are getting ready to end chapters with graduations and begin new ones with colleges or careers, I know exactly how they are feeling right now. Milestones are meant to be reached and celebrated and although this chapter of our son’s life is over, we will gladly hold onto those moments as we have LOVED the ride. In order for something to begin anew, something else must end.
Michelle Homme 2013 ©