That’s not you.  You know it.  But we all do it.  Even if it is to appease others — because they told you to or because they are your parents… but we know when we are not being who we really are. Seriously, let’s be honest here.  I will start…

I have a confession to make.  When I was in 5th and 6th grade, I curled my hair with those dumb pink, spongy curlers and wore dresses every day to school.  I am hoping that the people who know me personally, can you seriously see me curling my hair AND wearing dresses every day? I mean, come on!  Right?  If I wore a dress to work one day, a rumor about a job interview spread like wildfire.  (It was kind of fun to watch, to be honest.)  Hair?  I don’t have time to do my hair — let alone think so far ahead to do something the night before!  I love my wash and go look! I was a tomboy and still am to an extend.  I love my sneakers and jeans.  I wore a dress the other day with sandals, but I almost couldn’t figure out how to fasten them (they had the wrap around strap — you know that you aren’t sure if the strap goes over your foot or behind your ankle?) Totally out of my element.  Maybe it was because I wasn’t taught or didn’t want to know.  It felt off because it wasn’t me.  The true me.  I would love to be able to dress up with a scarf draped around my neck, showing everybody that I could so do that, but the truth is that I would need the YouTube video or instruction card before even attempting something like that.  Way above my list of skills.  (Truthfully — I get compliments on the scarf  itself, not on how I wear it…must be doing something wrong.)

But how many times a day or week are we not ourselves?  When we censor what we really feel or pretend to be someone we aren’t? Putting on a show you don’t want to attend?  When will we finally accept that we are who we are?  And when that day comes, will we accept ourselves for who we are and love ourselves?  People want other people to change because they don’t fit the molds we would like them to fit into.  And if we aren’t trying to change them, we are finding other ways to not accept them.  I cannot be you and you cannot be me.  I have friends that can dress up to the hilt and others that can paint Winnie the Pooh.  I have friends that can fix car engines and ones that can swim for hours. It is so difficult just to figure out who we are that hiding it would be punishment too.

Promise me something…if you can’t promise me, promise yourself.  That no matter where you are, no matter where you have been, or what you have done, that you will never forget who you are.  And not be afraid to show it.  I would rather see you for you than to see a lie.  EVERY DAMN DAY!

For too many days, I left the house with locks that were brown spirals on my head and dresses that I cringed to wear.  But my second confession is that every day, I took a second set of clothes to change into after I got to school.  Yes, these are my school pictures, but I can tell you that as soon as I could, I took off the dress and put on tennis shoes, pants, and a shirt.  Playing kickball at recess was a must and most people couldn’t beat me at tether ball. Wearing a dress just wouldn’t cut it.  Many of you won’t believe me, so here is your proof…

Michelle A. Homme 2014 ©