These days seem to come more often than I would ever imagine, but truly take me by surprise every time.  Even though it has been said and I never know when it will be said again, I am truly surprised at my impact on others.  In the last week, I have been reminded by comments directly made and through a “look” that I have done something or said something that allows others to change.  To be different.  To be better than they were before.  But then, I think to myself, “Lil’ old me did that?”  One such woman, MW, will know what that means because we spoke of it today.  How does someone in another country find me?  If they come across this by accident, does it still resonate with them later?  It is difficult for me to censor myself when I know saying a few words can inspire someone to look at things differently, so how do I get around that?  People have been surprised at my willingness and yearning to be in the shadows as I relish watching others have their moments as I catch a ray of the glow they exude.  I prefer that.  That is what I want for them.  I have tried to slip into situations unnoticed and then am eventually sought after and found and greeted more warmly that others may actually be wishing that they could partake in that shared love.  Even when nothing is said.  Over the last couple of weeks, I have had to remind myself that even if I consider myself to be “lil’ old me” that to others, I might just be more.  I may not give credit to myself where it may be due, but that is my choice as I silently stand on the sidelines watching others have their glory.  It may be difficult for me to accept and acknowledge, but I also know that they are having their glory because of my small part in it.  And the truth is, that I wouldn’t have it any other way.  Because, after all, it’s just “lil’ old me.”

Michelle Homme 2012 ©