Life’s Balancing Act: Why you fail to focus on what matters

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bird on a wire

Who hasn’t tried to balance everything in life?

Anyone else felt the pressure of a work deadline looming overhead as we stay up until 11pm making the desserts for the family function a few days?  Or maybe it was the unexpected illness of a family member that threw the schedule off?  How about waiting for the air conditioner repairman to come as you also pay the bills, write the grocery list, and clean the bathrooms before company comes this weekend?

Sound like anyone you know?

Life is crazy sometimes.

Whether we choose to take on another home improvement project or an elderly parent needs more time and care.

Sometimes, it takes all we have to just go hide in the bathroom for a few minutes.  Hoping no one will find us.

But our biggest problem isn’t that we have too much…we just have too much of the wrong things.

When we were growing up, we didn’t like hearing the word, “NO!”

NO!

As adults, we remember what it felt like being on the receiving end, so we somehow decided to say “YES!” to ask many things as we can.  We became a community full of “people pleasers” instead.  We agree with the group even if we disagree.  We do what is expected instead of what we want.  We sacrifice our own desires to avoid confrontation.

Last week, I gave a speech to a group of business women who wanted to know how to “Do it all” — work, take care of the family and house, attend church, hang out with friends, vacation, and still manage to find time for themselves.  And you now what…I shared a few things with them.

If we think about it, the answer is actually quite easy.

Our problem is that we focus on everything.  And I mean everything.  We try to “like” every status on Facebook, read every email, and attend every family function.  Because we have this perception of being perfect and this is how we show the world what we are capable of…aiming for excellence in everything we attempt.

[bctt tweet=”We have become a society of “know it all, do it all!” “]

We do our best to manage it all.  But we fail miserably and before we know it, something ends up falling to the ground.  It shatters into a million pieces and we are unable to fix it like it once was.  What had once mattered more than anything else has now been offered as a sacrifice to the rest of the world and its pull for our attention doesn’t enhance our life, it diminishes it.

And as we gather up what is left of something that once held meaning, we find ourselves in a place of heartache.  We wonder how we got here.  We look around and want to quickly withdraw the steps that brought us to this point.

We tell ourselves, “If I could only go back and do it over again…I would change it.  I would do it better.”

do better

Being on constant information overload is killing us.

We have got to start making some decisions.  Some hard ones too.  We have to say goodbye to the clubs, events, and people who are toxic to us and prevent us from being the best people we can be.  Yes, we will upset some people.  They won’t like hearing the word “NO!” — just like we didn’t when we were little.

But in order for us to save ourselves, we have to set boundaries.  We have to be honest.  We have to focus on the kind of life we really want to live.

We cannot allow keep this balancing act up any longer.  We have seen what happens when we try to do too much.  Something breaks.  Something we can’t live without becomes in jeopardy of being lost.  Time is precious to all of us — use it wisely.  You will not get it back.

There will be times when something will need more attention than others, but we cannot commit that kind of attention to one thing for long.  We have seen what happens when we neglect what matters most.  It doesn’t mean giving up.  It means finding a way to make what you want work in your life.  It can be done.  It means stepping away for while.  It means asking for help.  It means making the effort.  It means picking and choosing.

It means making the most of every day, living with no regrets.  EVER.

It means deciding what you can live without..and what you can’t…and focusing on that.  And never apologizing for it either.

Michelle A. Homme 2015 ©

 

 

 

 

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