About a year ago, I saw the best smile on someone I had not seen in sometime. His smile radiated through to everyone he greeted. Seeing him again confirmed what I had always believed about this young man…he still can change what happens next in his life. He may have stumbled, fought his way into a tougher situation, and then before he knew it, was in deep. But his life wasn’t over — even when he was confined, not just by his own demons, too. How many of us have settled into what we think we should be? Or even worse, what others think we should be? We have three sons and although they are born of the same parents, raised in the same household, with the same rules, they are all different. Their lives have become the sum of their experiences, including their classmates, their interactions with their brothers, and their attitudes towards life in general. They can dictate what happens next too and hopefully, might learn a little from one another.
What does your life look like?
Take an honest assessment of your life. Really. I am not joking around. In order for you to know how you want to change, you have to know what to change. Chances are, none of us could describe our lives as perfect, but we I think we would all agree that we all have something to be thankful for. We all strive for perfection and want our lives to be the best they can be, especially if we have a say about it. I know I do. I am always trying to be better than I was. Sometimes, I make a mistake. But I ask forgiveness and hopefully it is granted.
Some of the things you may want to change can include:
If we want to quit smoking, lose weight, or just eat healthier, how do we change that?
How do we reconnect with people after a long time has passed?
If I want a better job, how do I get promoted?
Regardless of what you want to change, the steps to get what you want are simple:
Make a 3-squared box on a piece of paper, because you are going to need to write in each box. Make sure you have enough space — especially for the middle box
In the most left box, write what you want to change. It doesn’t have to be all that detailed, but simply put it could read “Change my weight”
Leave the center box empty (for now)
In the most right box, write in your goal. What do you want your end result to be? “Lose 20 pounds”
Now, go back to the center box and start writing all the ways you can think of to get to your goal. Even if you think they won’t work. Add them anyway. If you think of other ideas, add them too.
Some people will add a deadline too, if it is applicable. Maybe that will help you stay focused.
Our lives are not set in stone and can change at any moment. Sometimes, our lives change due to outside influences and other times it is when we decide to change it ourselves. Our attitude toward something can dictate what kind of effort we put into it. The same goes for life.
I wonder what that young man is doing right now and if his outlook on life has remained the same. I wonder if he fell back into old patterns or if he really has decided to make his life all it can be. He must choose, just like all must choose. But the question is not how much you can get from life, it is how much you will make of your life!
Michelle A. Homme©