How many times have we wished for an opportunity to change something that did not turn out the way we thought it would? How many times have we tried to forget something that just won’t seem to go away? How many times have we allowed fear and doubt to run the show? Well, you know, I think it is about something changed. Something for the better. And that’s starts RIGHT NOW!
Before you read any further, I have to make a slight disclaimer. I do not have a legal team that will be able to successfully defend the use of words that perhaps may influence you at a later date. So, here goes…
“Under no circumstances do I pledge, promise, or guarantee that you will be able to return to who you were before you read this post (or any other words shared by me) in any venue, forum, or medium.”
Whew. Got that out-of-the-way. My legal team will be happy.
If you are still with me, hold on to your seat. It may be a bumpy ride at times, with some minor stops to look at the scenery, and yet time may pass rather quickly too. Reading the words I am about to share with you will not consume the majority of your time and may not resonate with you at all. It is what happens next that becomes rather exciting. Not just for me, either.
Test time! YAY! But I promise that this is where the real fun begins. Remember that there are no right or wrong answers and I just want you to think about the way things are right now.
1. Name one thing you do right now that leaves you drained of energy.
2. Name one person that you interact with right not what is negative.
The hard part is over. You have now identified one thing, one person, and one responsibility you wish were different from how they are right now. The willingness to find what causes you stress is the first step to changing your future life. You have to force yourself to really look at what you have before you can know what you want. It may get ugly at times, but that will be the only time you know it is real. When you will want to cower and hang your head because you have let it get this far. You know you deserve better, but you don’t know how. But, as I said, the hard part is over.
Why haven’t you done anything about this until now? Maybe you are skeptical or don’t want to put in the work. I get it. Just don’t complain later if your life is still the same. But the best part is that when you are finally ready, you can still do something about it. But don’t wait until it’s too late.
Now that we have given ourselves permission to name the things and people who make our lives less than ideal, let’s replace them with something more about what we want. Some of you may be dissuaded with thoughts of the reasons why you can’t change any of the above. Your reasons may include: no money and no time. You can’t have it both ways. So you have to decide what is worth more to you…
How do you resolve the above issues?
Let’s start with the first issue: doing something that leaves you drained. We all parts of our lives that we wish we would never have to do. Me, I am not a fan of vacuuming. I can clean a bathroom, and do the dishes, but I really dislike getting the Dyson out and moving it across the two levels of my house. Do I like it when it is done? You bet. I just don’t want to do it. How do I get around this? One, I ask my husband to help. Surprisingly enough, he likes to vacuum. He moves furniture too, which kind of was interesting to deal with when we were first married, but I like the change every once in a while. So, your solution could be to delegate the task to someone else. Hire someone to do it if needed, but if it gets done and everyone is happy at the end then that is what matters. Not everyone loves changing the oil in the cars or paying the bills. What about if you traded the days/months with someone else — meaning you only had to complete the task half as many times as if you did before. My sons are responsible for loading and unloading the dishwasher — one prefers to unload while the other doesn’t mind loading. It is a win-win for them. (Oh, and I win, too, but don’t tell them that.)
Now onto, the second issue: dealing with someone who is negative. You leave some things behind and head off in another direction. If someone you are around is negative, then decide not to be around them. Leave the room when they enter or politely excuse yourself from the conversation when they approach. If it is a relationship they want to keep, they will start to see a pattern and ask you why you seem to hustle out of the room when they are there. You don’t have to be mean about telling them your feelings, but perhaps they don’t even notice they act that way. If they don’t approach you, then limit your interactions with them. If possible, keep your distance from them and let them go entirely. I know it can hurt some other people’s feelings, but too many times we put others first and we pay the price for it for a long time. But you have to walk away — not for their sake, but for yours. I know people who like attention, but it is the wrong kind of attention. They justify their behavior by explaining their continued lifestyle as being a result of something that happened to a relative some 80 years ago. Some explanations are never shared, so they wallow in their guilt and resentment for the way they have chosen to live their lives and they pre-judge complete strangers, make horribly rude comments, and are so close-minded that complaining is all they know how to do.
Now where do you go from here? I have just opened the door for you and you can use this same method to change anything you want. But in order for you to do that, you have to identify what you want to be different. Sometimes, the answers are easy. (ISSUE: I dislike moving the hose to water the yard all day. ANSWER: Put in-ground sprinklers in.) But what if you want something more meaningful? Maybe a new job? How about getting your college degree? Maybe just a chance to get something off your chest?
Nothing gets done differently until things are done differently. How do you move out of the life you have? Simple…you move. Changing what you do begins with changing the way you think. I have done my part…the rest if up to YOU.
Michelle A. Homme ©