Find your courage: The 4 phrases that will change your lives

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Some words are harder to say than others.  Some make our voices tremble, our palms sweaty, and make us feel a little sick to our stomachs.

But even with those little side effects and after thoughts, there is something left behind.  Something that wasn’t there before.

tired man

Too often, we shy away from letting our hearts speak for us.  Maybe we are too shy or afraid that we don’t want to get our heart stepped on because it has been before.  Maybe we are unsure if what we really want to say will come our right.

In today’s world, we are more concerned about being politically correct than real.  We check our verbiage to make sure we don’t offend anyone, although even tone can send a message we never intended too.  The other day, someone mentioned something to me and although I knew this conversation would eventually come to my doorstep, I didn’t run from it.  No matter how many times I could have practiced it in my head, it didn’t go the way I thought it would.  Some conversations are like that.  When after it is all said and done and you quietly tell yourself, “Well, that didn’t go at all like I thought it would!”

But maybe in the end, it wasn’t about what you thought it would’ve been or should’ve been…it was instead everything it needed to be.  Raw.  Real.  Exposed.  True.  Open.  Bare.

The willingness we find in letting our hearts speak for us when we spend most of our moments protecting it is difficult for all of us and no matter who we are, we will always find that the four most important phrases we could ever say will make us stronger and better than we were before.

“I was wrong”

Some people just cannot begin to say these words because they would never want to admit they were not perfect, that they made a mistake, or hurt someone else.  We all know those people never accept responsibility for their words or actions and they just pretend it didn’t happen or they go on to blame someone else.  Put down your guard and let things fall where they will.  People admire those who accept a failure easier and will forgive you sooner than if you had tried to hide it.  Saying, “I was wrong” doesn’t make you less of a person…it makes you more of a person.  People will relate to that better than someone trying to be perfect all the time.

“I miss you”

Life is busy and we can lose track of time and of each other without even realizing it.  We miss what we don’t have.  Memories are captured in every moment and when those moments end or diminish, we can find ourselves with this wanting of a return of new moments.  Some can never be remade but that doesn’t take away our feelings of loss.  Loved ones we no longer have with us can leave an empty space that can never be filled, no matter how much time passes.  Even the time between two friends who spend years apart doesn’t make these words any easier to say to one another.  Saying “I miss you”  tells the other person that you are valued and cherished and even though it may be “understood,” it is something else to actually admit it out loud.

“I love you”

Some would argue that these words are actually the hardest to say — for fear of rejection and ridicule, especially if the other person doesn’t feel the same way.  Anyone else been in that awkward silence after you say “I love you” and even if the other person says it back, are they really feeling it or just trying to get through the moment?  When we give our hearts away regardless if that love is returned or not can be very freeing because in that moment our love becomes the best kind of love…unconditional.  No ties. No requirements. No conditions.  Just straight love.  Nothing makes you more courageous than risking it all with these words.

“I need you”

Believe it or not, “I need you” are the most difficult of these phrases to say.  I know they are for me.  I don’t want to feel like I cannot do something on my own and that I might need someone else to help me.  None of us “want” to need someone else, but I am not afraid of it either.  Because being able to honestly admit (gulp) that I am not “Wonder Woman” just about kills me — it means I only have some many strengths and if that’s the case, then I have some weaknesses too.  With years of practice, I had become very self-sufficient and even learned how to rely on people less because I didn’t want to be disappointed.  When we come to a friend and say, “I need you” there are some expectations that the friend will be there for you.  But as we all know, that doesn’t always happen

As difficult as it is to show the world a little softer side our of hearts, we must do so.  We cannot keep our hearts from every ounce of fallout and it can only be strengthened in the taking of chances found in the moments when we allow ourselves to be free of the bondage we hold to keep our hearts from being hurt.

“Sometimes, all you need is 20 seconds if insane courage — 20 seconds of just embarrassing bravery — and I promise you something great will come out of it.” — From “We Bought a Zoo”

Our courage comes only in the moments when we are afraid but still choose to let go of our hearts for just a brief moment.

Stumble through those words if you have to.  Untwist the knots in your stomach and just breathe.  Wipe your sweaty palms.

Because as much as saying those few words might hurt, not saying them will always hurt more.  

Michelle A. Homme 2015 ©


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