Who are you?

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Have you ever asked yourself that question?  Maybe…maybe not.  And if you have, have you answered it?  When people ask your name, do you follow that up with, “I am so-and-so’s mom” or “I am married to so-and-so”?  I know many of us are identified that way and we become labeled.  No one likes a label.  But even a label doesn’t tell the whole story.   In addition to being married to “so-and-so”, you are also YOU.  Someone told me once that she had lost her own identity.  SHE knew who she was, but she doesn’t take the time to take the time to go to have  a drink with friends after work because there is guilt from her kids and a list of things to do a mile long.  Sound like anyone you know?  Most women would admit it, with a heavy sigh.  But beneath the surface of what you do and who you birthed, who are you?  Do you know?  Are their words and actions that you use that others would describe you correctly or do you give them a different impression of you?  I know someone who is very aggressive at work, very matter of fact, sometimes downright rude and even though it has been brought to her attention many times before, she either doesn’t care enough to change it or she believes that she has to act that way.  I have seen another side of this same woman and it is very contradictory to what she portrays herself to be at work.  How can that be?  How can people cringe around her at work and yet she can be soft-spoken and the warmest of moms?  Are you like that?  I know we have certain ways that we act around certain people, but most of us cannot be complete opposites of we are.  I have told people who one of my new year’s resolutions every year is to be more of a “B”.  Yep, I said it.  The funny thing is that every year, I never succeed at keeping that resolution…I fail miserably.  People have actually said to me that “You are going to have to try REALLY hard to do that!”  No joke.  Why do I tell you that?  Because eventually, I revert back to who I really am.  And I am not a “B”.  I give more than I should; care more than most; and love more deeply.  That is who I am.  I believe in tomorrow and hope and all that those two things bring with them.  I know I get better every day when I share my past, present, and future with others and I love hearing about their stories as well.  Who are you?  If you don’t like who you are, who do you want to be?  What aren’t you that person?  Are you afraid of putting down walls?  (I totally get that — took over 30 years for mine to come down.) Recently, a group of women told me that I am so “real” and they could feel my “genuineness” as they listened to me talk.  Isn’t it about time that we all started being real?  Being yourself gives you such freedom because you no longer are living a lie and people will fall in love with who you are…who you really are!  “Free to be Me” by Francesca Battistelli

Michelle A. Homme 2013 ©

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