Today has been awesome. The windows are open with a slight breeze, and the sun is warm and inviting me to take part in the next ritual that comes with spring, and I found peace. Not just any kind of peace, but the kind that comes from truly staying committed to what I believe…through anger, hurtful words, and bitterness that probably shouldn’t exist. But it did for a long time and now, I have let it go. I was asked today if I felt like a weight had been lifted, and in a way, it already had been, but today was like signing the papers for the new car you had been driving for years. It had been a done deal for a long time, you just made it official. You signed the paperwork after having a 15 year courtship with your live in girlfriend or boyfriend. In a way, I thought it would feel different, but I don’t think I do. But I also know in my heart that I had to find this peace because it carrying that angst with me was doing more harm than good. For some time, I was unsure of how to escape its grasp, but I think I have found the best solution for me. Maybe not for others, but for me. Others may be angry and hurt, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. I tried. I really did. So, today, was an awesome day with checking on the new buds on my hydrangea coming up and the daffodils starting the show their green, too. By letting go, I have begun a new part of my life, just like those flowers that have been hibernating over the winter months. Ironic that it comes on a day, when the majority of the grass in my yard is a deep shade of green already. I was going to go for a run, but decided against it – I can always do that tomorrow (and will) – and just to enjoy what surrounded me. I needed a day like today to get me started on this week…so I can hit the ground running and take on whatever life throws my way. Regardless of what it is, I will be ready for it. Because I was able to enjoy an absolutely fabulous and beautiful day! I hope yours was just as great!
Michelle Homme 2012 ©