Here it is, ladies! Our want list! Notice that I did not call this a “wish” list…that was done on purpose. I mean, “want” and “wish” essentially mean the same thing, but one has a little more bite to it. But I did not go so far as to create a “demand” list either. “Want” is in the middle.
Don’t believe me? Let’s try an experiment…
Ever seen the movie, “The Notebook” with Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams? Most of us have. I am sure we all remember this scene…
Can you imagine if “Noah” had asked “Allie” what she “wished for” instead of what she wanted? It would not have had the impact it needed to have. When the chips are down and you have to choose. No beating around the bush, call-it-in-the-air-coin-flip, forget about being polite and proper…just tell me what you want, dammit!
Okay, now that I have you all riled up and raring to go, I had better get to this. Because now you all want to know what you want!
Disclaimer: This is in no particular order.
The 8 Things Every Woman Wants
Every woman wants to feel loved and appreciated
Many of us do not just have one responsibility. We have a multitude of them. There is a difference between “being loved” and “feeling loved” and we know it. Just because someone tells you they love you doesn’t mean you feel that love. In fact, maybe their actions show us quite the opposite as we try to process the words that do not match the actions. We don’t want people falling at our feet as if we are royalty, but a little “atta, girl” never hurts either. Too many times we are taken for granted where the things we do are just expected of us so no “thank you” seems warranted. Guess what? We like to hear “thank you” every once in a while for the things we did that you didn’t have to do. And I don’t care who you are or where you come, feeling loved quiets our minds and allows our hearts to feel full. Never get tired of someone thinking of me — whether it be a quick email or text, or just a reference of Wonder Woman on Facebook. Sometimes, all I can do is share a little 🙂 — because I cannot find the words to tell them how that truly made me feel. But please know that I feel loved.
Every woman wants to matter
We need to understand our role for being here and why. We have questions that we want answers to, and get lost sometimes on our way. We need to know that our purpose is bigger than anyone of us could have ever imagined and we want to be remembered. Whether it be because of the wonderful, homemade food my grandmother would make for holidays or just quick family get-togethers to finding the courage to voice an opinion that is not the same as crowded room. Our legacy is built on memories left behind and our wish to enhance the lives of our loved ones. Quite simply, it is what we live for. We want the laughs to be remembered as much as the times we lost our tempers (ok…remember less of those). When someone “misses” you — you know you matter. That is a wonderful confirmation that another life would not be the same without you in it.
Every woman wants to escape
Let’s be honest, ladies. We need a break once in a while. But how many of us ever give ourselves a chance to regroup, regenerate, and re-energize, so that we can come back fully ready to take on life again? And if we do, how many of us feel guilty? Here is the secret…we are no good to anyone else until we take care of ourselves. Taking time away is a requirement to making us better wives, better parents, better friends, better co-workers, etc. We are better after we rest. It doesn’t mean a week to Cancun (but if you ever need a friend to go with you, I pack quickly and might remember a little high school Spanish), but maybe just a trip to the spa or a quick weekend trip out of town. For me, my escape is found along my morning runs as I listen to the sprinklers kicking on, watch bunnies scurry around, and just run. But I would totally go to Cancun too. Just say the word. Anytime.
Every woman wants to give their hearts away
We give and give some more. We give even when our hearts have been broken, into what felt like a million shards, and we were afraid to pick any of them back up. But we do the best we can, secretly crying in our sleep or in the shower, where no one will know. Our compassionate hearts are the windows to our soul and very rarely do we ever let anyone see that. We keep it mostly hidden, guarded by walls built by others who have cast aside our love as if it meant nothing. But deep down, we want to show people who we are and how much giving to others feeds our souls. It is something that cannot adequately be described in words, but watching others “bloom” because of something we said or did a way to leave a part of us with someone else. And that never dies. One of my favorite ways to give is to pay for the person’s coffee in the drive-thru at a local barista, where anonymous “pay-it-forward” moments happen all the time. Truly warms my heart. And the coffee helps, too.
Every woman wants to dream
It doesn’t matter what the dream looks like, who is in it (okay…maybe it does if it is Tatum Channing), or where you are. Your dream comes alive when you choose to follow your heart and embrace the journey; the journey only intended for you. When the question asked, “What is your dream?” and the same answer appears every time, it is not just a phase. It is the answer to all questions and only when we answer them, do our dreams become real. It is where freedom grows and hope greets you with open arms. Dreams give us a look into tomorrow– where creativity, imagination, and vision all come together as one. Some dreams will leave us frightened (thanks to my husband’s love of the Syfy channel), but others will inspire us to take chances we never thought we would take. We all have a dream inside of us and you will know it when you talk about it. Your eyes will light up and you will smile like you never have before. How do I know? Because when I dream, people tell me I get into my “mode” — not only can see it, but they can feel it. This is a part of that dream — the part I share with you.
Every woman wants to be courageous
We have this sense of bravado instilled within us that comes to the surface from time to time, but mostly we keep it to ourselves. We want something to be different, but let fear decide for us. But don’t push us too far…we will come at you, like a mama bear protecting her cub. Fighting is not in our nature, but we will fight for the ones we love, for what’s right, and for what we believe in. Whenever someone tells me, “No”, I hear, “Not now” and it tells me I just have more work to do. But I will not give up. I may lose but I will never quit. There are moments in every woman’s life when she must make a choice — one keeps her safe and the other causes her to jump — and many stay on the safe side. Chances not taken are successes never granted. Personally, I love the challenge. I have been the underdog my entire life, so having the decks stacked against me is nothing new. If you need to, be An Army of One — stand alone, be firm, and never waver from what you believe. It fuels the adrenaline and stimulates more as you find that all of your fears were just mind games, and that you are more capable than you thought you were. Courage doesn’t always come from serving on the front lines in military zones — it comes from being true to who you are…it comes from trusting your gut when no one else will say anything…it comes from being verbal about what you want (see entire list)…it comes from saying words you are afraid to say…it comes from the vulnerability of dancing, regardless of who is watching. Courage is everywhere and I want to see you be brave!
Every woman wants less to do
Notice I said “less” — not “nothing” — because we still need to feel wanted. Let’s face it, ladies, our lives would be easier if we had an endless supply of help or could copy ourselves. Our never-ending list of “to-do’s” keeps us up at night and will wake us from a dead sleep as we text ourselves something for us to remember to do tomorrow…at 3am. Who does that? Guilty. Yep…that’s me. How did our lists get so out of hand? I mean, we do things all the time, every day…how could more stuff get on it? We are wired to get things done. Maybe it is because we don’t want the list to get any longer, so we don’t put off today what can be done today. Or usually, what must be done today. Sometimes, I am not sure what we would do if we had absolutely nothing to do. NOTHING. I think we would be lost. Seriously. Our brains are so overstimulated with data (necessary and useless) and technology doesn’t help. We have calendars to remind us of upcoming anniversaries and birthdays that must be recognized with a card and/or gift that just won’t get done unless we do it. So we become curmudgeons. Unless — we ask for help. I know…I know. I don’t like to admit it either. But if we want less to do, we have to give stuff other people. I will give all dang long without blinking an eye, but asking someone else for help would almost make me consider going through childbirth again. There would at least be some hesitation on my part. For sure. And if that doesn’t work, just say ‘no” to the things that really don’t matter. You have to know where your boundaries are and how much you can handle. Just know that you might upset some people, but in the end, you got what you wanted.
Every woman wants to be happy
This goes without saying. Happiness does not come from getting everything you want. Happiness comes from within. It is not something you search for, but it is a choice you make every day. It grants you permission to make your life the best life you can make with the days granted to you. When are you most happy? Who wouldn’t want to live there, doing the things that make you the happiest? To most, that would seem like a given, but some of us are really good at putting on the facade, at playing the game, just so no one knows just how broken we are. We are here for what seems like such a short time, why not live it happy? Laugh out loud. Dance all night. Be true to yourself. Smile at strangers. Hug someone tight. Share your love. Be free. Listen to your heart. And love. Love always makes people happy.
There you have it. A simple list of 8 things of what every woman wants. Don’t be shy about it…admit it. It is the first step to getting what you want. Or you can keep “wishing” for it. The choice is yours, but let me know how that “wishing” goes for you.
Michelle A. Homme 2014 ©