Stop pretending

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When you were growing up, who didn’t love to use their imagination and be someone that we weren’t?  How many of us played Cowboys & Indians or Princess?  I was trying to think if I ever really did that when I was little and I can’t recall a single time.  Not one.  I think I must have been so nervous about being who I was that trying to be someone different was too far-fetched for someone who developed to be very logical at such a young age.  Being creative and “going outside the box” was scary for me so I stayed in the realm of what I knew…reality.  I still haven’t changed much in that I still like my little comfort zone, but I am done being something that I am not.  I don’t have time to pretend to know all of the answers, because I don’t.  I have times when I look like I have it all together, but really I am falling apart inside.  Stop pretending to be who you are not — whether it is working a job you dislike or hanging out with people who are like poison to you.  You can still pick and choose and decide to be real…to be you.  Are you pretending?  Are you showing the rest of us a lie?  They say, “The truth will set you free.”  Isn’t it time for you to be free?  Are you just tired of conforming to someone else’s wish for you?  I am.  Even though I never really knew the game as a child, I had become accustomed to trying to meet expectations and never really measuring up to them.  Regardless of the success I encountered along the way.  I still always felt like I lost because I was never being true to myself.  And ultimately, I lost every time.  In the last two and half years, I have become more comfortable with being true to me first…even when others think I shouldn’t be.  I have lost friends as I travelled this path for reasons still unclear and yet I am grateful that they were a part of my life.  I cannot pretend that I do not feel this way and write about life as if we lived in a perfect world.  I don’t and we don’t.  Don’t pretend anymore…set your soul free.  It is so much easier and much more gratifying.  Be you!

Michelle Homme 2012 ©

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