Do you believe that we are destined to live a life that has been already written for us? Do you believe that we still have a say in free will when it comes to choices? When I was a very little girl, I knew who I was and who I wasn’t. And some people have wondered how I got to be who I am and my answer is simple…I am and have always been the same. I am the same girl I was…the one who never sought the spotlight and loved watching magic happen from afar, not from the front row. The same girl who made sure that giving more to others was more important than ever expecting or receiving anything for herself. The one that loves unconditionally, never truly accepting the love that is freely given to her. Although I believe that we are always constantly changing, I also believe that our soul never changes. It is who defines us by the core of our every being. Our past can define and mold us into who we become and sometimes, shape us into people we never thought we would be. People allow regret, guilt, and lack of personal responsibility deflect where true liability lies. No matter how hard people try to cover it up, their true soul will always shine through. There are moments in our lives that we wish we could change and maybe had never wanted to happen. Has life tried to knock you down a time or two? Maybe even knocked you down while you were already down? When I share a little of my past with friends, they always tell me that “That kind of stuff only happens to you.” Believe me, I wish some of it didn’t. But I cannot change that part of my story, just as you cannot change yours. What does living with a past teach us? How have people who have treated us poorly taught us to treat others? Some of us will fight back with vengeance and anger and it will consume us as we live a very bitter, hateful life and continue the cycle, never realizing that they choose the life they lead. Blame can become your best friend because it has granted you an excuse, but it will never be directed where it should be. Others hold onto things that should have been long forgotten, but continue to show their ugliness in opportune times. You know who you are. Deep down…you know if you are thoughtful, selfish, or tough. Think back to when you were little and how you came to be who you are now. The things that you held dear then are the ones you are going to treasure even more now. The dreams you dreamt then will still be the ones you dream now. That never changes. This is what I know for certain — I have never forgotten who I am. I know how to treat people with kindness, attention, and unconditional love, even when it has not been shown to me. But I will be true to myself first. You see, even now, I remember every day. My soul is tattooed with the life I have lived and the life I must live. They are intertwined in such a way that they can never be pulled apart from one another. This is me. Now and forever. No matter where I go or what I do, I will know that I am “Still that Girl” by Britt Nicole
Michelle A. Homme 2014 ©
