It began like this…

I’ve played it safe for most of my life.

Running from things that made me feel uncomfortable was my rule. 

If I had only known then what I know now, right?

As I look out my office window, I catch the reflection of my head shaking back and forth…

I have to remind myself that I wasn’t ready then.

That I can’t be angry for lost time.

To wish to go back is a waste.

And I know it.

But we want that chance again, don’t we?

To go back and change what we did or did not do.

Little did I know that once I stepped out into the open and that I would in fact find the one place I was always meant to be.

The rationality of staying safe

When we feel protected and out of harms way, we feel comfortable and never have too much to worry about.

It is not until we realize that what is keeping us safe actually has become a prison instead.

Created over years, it would take time to destroy to such a structure.

Yet our next bold move doesn’t include a moment of hesitation, but a single belief that is held so strongly it is enough to get past your fear.

In a split second of courage, I stepped away from something safe and took a leap like no leap I had ever taken before.

Before long, I found many things I didn’t expect to find — strength, confidence, and a purpose just to name a few.

However, none of those compare to the best thing I found in that single act…

I found me. 

A self I had never known existed yet had been developing all of these years.

Perhaps it had shown itself intermittently, but for the most part, it remained hidden and silent.

Full of positive thoughts and the bravado to take chances like never before, this self was on a mission to influence the world.

Allowing myself to hold onto the power of belief, hope, and faith tethered by grace, gratitude, and a love so deep and genuine, it scares me some days.

To have found and embraced this version of myself, shakes me to my core.

My relentless authenticity refuses to be obscured in the shadows ever again.

No more being someone I thought I needed to be.

Forget about overthinking and trying to fit in.

Here I was and I instantly fell in love.

The biggest thing

To this point, I had taken baby steps.

(No wonder it took me so long to get here!)

There was no going back.

I had reached and passed the “point of no return.”

Now that I was “awake”, I could never go “back to sleep.”

Not only did I find me, I learned who I have always been.

Every past moment had brought me here and with a swoop of a single decision, I changed my life for good.

In my attempts to run from everything that frightened me before, I now found myself running towards everything that makes me feel alive.

Needing to stay where it is safe no longer interests me.

I have this quenching thirst for the adventure, living fully in every moment regardless of the outcome.

As I walk that find line between the harmless and the dangerous, I have not only found the person I have always wanted to become, but am fulfilling the role I was born to play…

And I never would have found neither by playing it safe.

Michelle A. Homme 2017 ©